Patron Content Alert! (10 Adventure Hooks)

Twice a month, I plan to release bonus content for anyone who subscribes to my Patreon. Today, subscribers get 10 new adventure hooks! For access to all of them—and more—be sure to subscribe, and in the meantime, I leave you with this teaser: their titles…

1) The Carmine Constellation

2) The Knerdlpig That Laid the Gorgeous Geode

3) A Biosmith Comes to Town

4) They That Sow the Robo-locustspiders...

5) The Undead Builders

6) Neon Geometric Ohrwurm 

7) The Persuasiveness of Dreams

8) Hospitality Hostilities for Henderka

9) Funerary Fruit

10) City of Sense-Swapping


As always, please note—The Gazetteer of the Weird and all entries within it are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, so be cool.

Angular Hound

Creature

Description:

While the most common version of the angular hound or “glitchwolf” looks like a pixelated canine made of tiny cubes, due to the effect of their bite (not to mention what happens when they decohere completely), angular hounds can also sport ursine, feline, humanoid, and even stranger body types, all of which are threats to the very fabric of reality.

Quirks:

Angular hounds are always slowly becoming more and more pixelated. In the beginning stages of corruption, they act much like their pre-infestation self, though there is an increase in aggression and need to spread out. As the corruption worsens, they become more and more pixelated, and the likelihood that their bite will affect living things grows. 

The more pixelated they are, the more their movements become orthogonal and robotic. However, just before decoherence, angular hounds are at their most erratic and their most dangerous. Not only do their mechanical movements become frenzied, their straight lines can become curves, and they can even teleport short distances. Worse, any bite is almost guaranteed to corrupt the bitten.

Destruction before the angular hound decoheres completely is a must, for if the corruption is allowed to reach the terminal stage, the infected entity will collapse into a pile of fizzing dust, and the decohering effect will start to spread throughout the area. 

Adventure Hook:

  • Somehow, an angular hound has decohered in the wine cellar of a wealthy noble. The noble is willing to pay quite a bit of money for someone to rescue their most precious casks of wine (and even more money not to tell anyone about the growing instability in the fabric of reality located beneath their villa).

  • A champion of the Immovable Anchor comes to the adventurers, asking for their aide. In a moment of carelessness, they were bitten by an angular hound shaped like a great winged bear. They seek assistance in slaying it before the corruption takes the champion completely, a deed which will earn the adventurers the thanks of the Order.


If you enjoy my work and would like to see more stat-less bizarrities, places of interest, odd creatures, and strange settlements, please support me on Patreon or Ko-fi! (Non-monetary support is always welcome, too. Spread the word of the #WeirdGazetteer far and wide!)

Also, please note—The Gazetteer of the Weird and all entries within it are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, so be cool.

Brewer Mounds

Place of Interest

Description:

What look like enormous termite mounds made from half-melted obsidian rise from the ground, taller than many houses in the area. Architecturally, the mounds are all organic curves and jagged edges (ones so sharp they nearly hurt to look at).

Inside the mounds, you will find the eponymous Brewers, creatures of ferocious mien with dark exoskeletons that constantly leak mildly acidic ichor from the joints, tails that end in wickedly sharp pincers, and mouths that contain thorny appendages that serve as both tongues and mandibles.

Despite their appearance, however, Brewers are quite gentle and gregarious beings. No means of communicating with them has yet been discovered, and not only do their physically repel all attempts at investigating their mounds, but the substance of the mounds themselves resists all known form of sensors.

And yet, every ten days, Brewers emerge from their mounds and set out a plethora of what has given them their nicknames: what appear to be jugs made of slightly grainy clay that’s a bit stick. 

Quirks:

Like honeycomb or curnbutter, these “jugs” are actually organic in nature, extruded from an aperture in the Brewers’ thoraxes. The jugs contain intoxicating liquids of great potency, with hallucinatory, euphoric, and other enjoyable effects. Luckily, imbibing the liquids themselves have no negative side effects (although one should be careful while under their influence)—most, in fact, often have powerful medicinal or nootropic properties as well.

Adventure Hooks:

  • A community leader is convinced that the nearby Brewers are using their wares to try and drug the populace into complacency, rendering the community helpless to fight off a Brewer invasion. Rumor has it that the community leader has commandeered an ancient excavator and is preparing to attack the mound when the Brewers emerge at the next market...

  • A handful of people are having bizarre reactions after imbibing Brewer goods, with those affected transforming into bizarre (and violent) monsters. Some say it’s some plot of the Brewers, while others suspect inhuman shapeshifters have been changed back to their true forms by the Brewers’ intoxicants...


If you enjoy my work and would like to see more stat-less bizarrities, places of interest, odd creatures, and strange settlements, please support me on Patreon or Ko-fi! (Non-monetary support is always welcome, too. Spread the word of the #WeirdGazetteer far and wide!)

Also, please note—The Gazetteer of the Weird and all entries within it are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, so be cool.

One Week to Go!

If you enjoy descriptions of creatures, artifacts, oddities, and places of interest that can only be described using Clark's 3rd Law, you've come to the right place, noble reader!

In one week's time, the Patreon for the Gazetteer of the Weird officially launches and content shall be posted each Tuesday, Thursday, and every other Saturday.

Feel free to subscribe ahead of time, and look out for that first post on Tuesday, May 7th!

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